Chatting Fire
by Dinosaur-of-Fabulousness
Summary: The Hunger Games characters on a Skype chat. It's just as much fuckery as you'd expect.
**AN: Idk I was drunk when I wrote this. I literally got this idea an hour ago and just wrote this all down without editing. But I laughed stupidly while writing it and hopefully so do you. That's all I want in life. Also a tub of oreo ice cream and Margot Robbie. But mostly to bring you joy.**

 **So basically it's the Hunger Games characters in a Skype chat. So yeah  
**

 **EDIT: After the, ah, _helpful_ (for want of a better word) advice of some of the members of the elite Critics United group, I've edited my story so that it fits with the guidelines. Thanks for doing your bit to make sure the world is a safer place guys!**

* * *

Here's the list of chat names, but you can try guess from the chat if you like.

Katniss- Hawkeye

Peeta- DemiLovatoast

Finnick- TruthOdair

Haymitch- ItsFiveOClockSomewhere

Effie- EveryDayIsWednesday

Johanna- ImALumberjackAndImOkay

President Snow- EvilSanta

Gale- FuckSquirrels

Primrose- 3Prim3

Clove- KnifeToMeetYou

Cato- AyoMyNameIsCato

Rue- HowRued

Glimmer- TwilightSparkle

Foxface- WhatDoesTheFoxSay

Beetee- UnixSystem

Annie- CrestaIsTheBesta

* * *

In this episode: Finnick uses the Lord's name in vain, Johanna throws name shade, President Snow is a Kool Kid, Peeta makes terrible bread puns and Effie is a two-dollar whore.

* * *

 _ImALumberjackAndImOkay added Hawkeye, DemiLovatoast, FuckSquirrels, 3Prim3, TruthOdair, ItsFiveOClockSomewhere, EveryDayIsWednesday, EvilSanta, KnifeToMeetYou, AyoMyNameIsCato and HowRued to chat Squad 451_

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Sup"

Hawkeye typed "Hey"

DemiLovatoast typed "hi! :)"

TruthOdair typed "yo Jo"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "no"

TruthOdair typed "no Jo?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Finnick I swear to god"

EvilSanta typed "U called?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Stay out of this Coriolanus"

TruthOdair typed "Don't be so cold Jo"

TruthOdair typed "Go with the flow Jo"

TruthOdair typed "Let it go Jo"

 _ImALumberjackAndImOkay has deleted TruthOdair from the chat_

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "Nice one"

EvilSanta typed "Yes very swaggy Johanna"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "I just threw up in my mouth a little bit"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "Me too"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "Although that might have been from the alcohol poisoning"

EvilSanta typed "What?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Nothing Coriolanus"

EvilSanta typed "Excuse me?"

EvilSanta typed "Is there something wrong with my name?"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "No Coriolioanoius it's a great name"

EvilSanta typed "Like you can talk Haymitch Abernathy"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "Your saying this when there's a boy named after a loaf of bread in the chat"

DemiLovatoast typed "Haymitch please"

DemiLovatoast typed "That was so rude honestly"

DemiLovatoast typed "Peeta is an old Mellark family name"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Yeah guys don't be rude about his name"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "It was passed down by his father, Toast"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "His mother Flour and his brother Dough"

 _DemiLovatoast added TruthOdair to the chat_

DemiLovatoast typed "BOOM"

DemiLovatoast typed "Take THAT Johana"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Urgh"

TruthOdair typed "Heyy guys ;) ;)"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "How dare you"

TruthOdair typed "How Odair you more like"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Shut the fuck up Finnick"

TruthOdair typed "You guys have been having so much fun without me I need to read the rest of the chats"

TruthOdair typed "Okay done"

TruthOdair typed "I have a cool name."

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Yeah no"

TruthOdair typed "Well you're forgetting there's someone called literally Effie Trinket"

EveryDayIsWednesday typed "Finnick!"

TruthOdair typed "Sorry not sorry"

EveryDayIsWednesday typed "It's okay.. I forgive you darling ;)"

TruthOdair typed "What? Oh no, that was just the sound of me gagging"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "Johanna's here all smug because people can pronounce her name"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Well its not my fault my parents gave me a normal name"

EvilSanta typed "Yeah you should thank them"

EvilSanta typed "Oh wait you can't I killed them"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "FUCK U"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "FIGHT ME"

TruthOdair typed "Ohh burn"

EvilSanta typed "Literally"

EvilSanta typed "(cause I burned them to death)"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "IM COMING TO YOUR HOUSE"

EvilSanta typed "#swag"

Hawkeye typed "For fucks sake no one says swag any more"

EvilSanta typed "Really?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Yeah check your cool teen handbook"

DemiLovatoast typed "There's a Cool Teen Handbook?"

Hawkeye typed "No"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Yes"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "Yes"

DemiLovatoast typed "Is there a cool teen handbook"

Hawkeye typed "What"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Did you… did you just mistake the chat for google"

DemiLovatoast typed "… no"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "YES YOU FUCKIN DID PITA BREAD"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "Sweet jesus"

TruthOdair typed "You called?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Go away ariel"

DemiLovatoast typed "Shit my mom is calling, I burned the bread again"

Hawkeye typed "I'll be over in five x"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Is this their code for sex or"

DemiLovatoast typed "I'm back! Hi again friends!"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "We're not your friends"

DemiLovatoast typed Katniss is my friend

Hawkeye typed "Leave me out of this"

DemiLovatoast typed "Okay guys"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Fuck"

DemiLovatoast typed "Johanna no"

DemiLovatoast typed "Guys"

DemiLovatoast typed "What did the bag of flour say to the loaf of bread?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Go fuck yourself"

DemiLovatoast typed "Johanna no"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Die in a fire"

DemiLovatoast typed "No Johanna do it properly"

Hawkeye typed "He's not going to leave us alone Jo you might as well play along"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Fine"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "What did the bag of flour say to the loaf of bread?"

DemiLovatoast typed "I saw you YEASTERDAY"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "FFFFFUCK"

DemiLovatoast typed "Language"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Ok captain"

DemiLovatoast typed "What am I the captain of?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Avengers reference"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Nevermind"

DemiLovatoast typed "Ok I've got a good one"

DemiLovatoast typed "What do you call a flying bagel?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Shut up"

DemiLovatoast typed "A PLAIN BAGEL"

DemiLovatoast typed "Get it?"

DemiLovatoast typed "Plain like plane"

Hawkeye typed "We get it"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "It's just not funny"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Bread is stupid"

DemiLovatoast typed "WHAT THE HECK DID YOU SAY TO ME"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "Now you've done it"

Hawkeye typed "Johanna that's his trigger"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Go have your panic attack somewhere else"

 _I'mALumberjackAndImOkay deleted DemiLovatoast from the chat_

Hawkeye typed "It wasn't that bad"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Be quiet Katniss"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "Ooh I actually have one"

TruthOdair typed "?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?"

Hawkeye typed "Um"

TruthOdair typed "Oh I know this one"

TruthOdair typed "Doughnuts"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "I was gonna say Peeta sucking his dick but yeah that works too"

EveryDayIsWednesday typed "JOHANNA"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "I have one"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "What do you call a whore who screws for 5 cents?"

ImALumberjackAndImOkay typed "A pumpernickel"

ItsFiveOClockSomewhere typed "No, Effie Trinket"

 _EveryDayIsWednesday has deleted ItsFiveOClockSomewhere from the chat_

 _EveryDayIsWednesday typed "Mahoga-NO, bitch_

* * *

 **AN: I mean I warned you.**

 **So, if there are any characters or things or plots you'd like to see, tell me in reviews. Or just review in general, it makes me feel better about myself and lord knows I need the ego boost.**


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